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Dogs Undercover – 10 Methods Dogs Use to Dominate the Bed

On a cold winter night, there is nothing better than being under the covers with our pack members. In the middle of the afternoon, there is nothing worse than being tired at work knowing our canine friends are still on the bed napping even though they are the only ones who got a good night’s sleep.If you are not ready for your dog’s sneaky and manipulative sheet stealing tactics you could find yourself clinging to a few inches of the bed and holding on to the covers for dear life.

Below are the top 10 methods dogs use to dominate the bed. See how many you are battling.

  1. The Stretch – This skill is most commonly used by medium to large size breeds that double their body length by stretching out comfortably. Original size is not returned to until morning hours.
  2. The Push – Never allow your four legged friends to sleep anywhere near something they can push against. Four paws planted against a wall will give the tiniest dog enough leverage to push any size adult human onto the floor.
  3. The Squirm – Random wiggling may appear innocent but it is a canine’s weapon to gather the blankets around them. You may be tempted to interact with your dog but your best defense is to ignore them.
  4. The Fake Out – A restless dog at the door does not always mean nature is calling your dog’s name. This sneaky tactic is used to remove your sleepy body mass from the warm comfortable bed and allows your dog to quickly bolt into the spot you vacated. They will then peer innocently at you while looking vulnerable. This tactic is a good one because try calling their bluff and you may risk a soiled floor.
  5. The Shuffle – Your furkid appears to be sleeping comfortably while respecting your space. This is exactly what they want you to think. Move an inch and your dog will quickly shuffle body parts to occupy that now unclaimed territory.
  6. The Dream – Yelps, squeaks, and twitching paws are precursors to a running dream. A seeming innocent tactic to steal bed covers. Stretching and running motions gather blankets into a warm pile that covers your dog and leaves you out in the cold. If running paws or whimpering noises do not wake you, the frigid night air will.
  7. Shock Tactics – A cold wet nose on exposed body parts will awaken the soundest of sleepers with a jolt and racing heart. Your only defense against this tactic is pajamas.
  8. Stink Bomb Tactics – A soft sighing sound that engulfs you in an eye-watering stench that could strip the varnish off your bedroom furniture. As you move to open a door, open a window, or locate an oxygen mask, the bed space you fought for is now gone forever.
  9. The Immovable Object – When you’re furry friend beats you to the bed and plants themselves diagonally in the middle of it. They then do their best impersonation of a “breathing rug with a tail” and somehow seem to instantly double in weight.  If you want to move them just be aware that YOU will be doing all of the work and they will lay helpless as if suddenly paralyzed from the neck down.
  10. The Cook Out – Your dog may cozy up next to you giving you the sweet impression that they want to snuggle with you. The additional body heat may initially be warming but eventually, you may be tempted to create some space between you and your furry friend. As you move over, so do they. Personal space is never achieved and you will soon find yourself on the edge of your queen size bed with just a corner of the sheet. To beat your pooch at this tactic you must be willing to sweat it out. Do not give an inch and victory will prevail by eventually overheating and cooking out man’s best friend.

Dogs of all sizes, ages, and breeds will deploy the above tactics for bed space. If you have not established “ground rules” when it comes to the bed, it is up to you to be aware of these sneak methods and play offense instead of defense. When it comes to a comfortable, restful night in bed – it’s you or the dog!

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